A married couple holds hands during the Diocese of Owensboro’s annual marriage anniversary Mass at St. Stephen Cathedral in Owensboro, on Aug. 18, 2024. RILEY GREIF | WKC
A multi-pronged approach: Marriage and family life office offers opportunities to help heal relationships
BY ELIZABETH WONG BARNSTEAD, THE WESTERN KENTUCKY CATHOLIC
When someone calls the Office of Marriage and Family Life in the Diocese of Owensboro to seek help for a struggling marriage, director Danny May starts by walking them through several options.
Depending on the situation, he might connect them with Dcn. Tony Carmona, whose years of doing marriage ministry support – especially in his role serving the Catholic military community at Fort Campbell – has given him a unique perspective on addressing marriage struggles.
Or, May might refer them to Karla Wagner, a certified CatholicPsych mentor through the CatholicPsych Institute, which offers guidance through the lens of faith, reason and science. Or he might connect them with Joe Bland of the Catholic Mindset Coaching program, which helps people address obstacles that are in the way of living life abundantly.
If a marriage is in an active crisis, Dcn. Carmona might help the couple consider Retrouvaille – a weekend retreat offering the tools needed to rediscover a loving marriage relationship.
However, couples who are not experiencing a relationship crisis can still benefit from regular support and “maintenance,” said May.
“We do it for our physical health, our vehicles, and our houses,” he added. “(A strong marriage) takes maintenance, effort, and work.”
May said a new – and free – opportunity for marriage strengthening is the Marriage Disciples coaching process offered by The Alexander House, a Texas-based organization that provides marriage education and enrichment.
With three trained Marriage Disciples couples in the Owensboro area, couples in the diocese now have access to this resource to reconnect, grow closer through prayer, and improve their communication skills.
The Marriage Disciples process offers “a little tune-up,” said May.
May emphasized that there is no shame in seeking help for one’s marriage: “Personally I think every marriage would benefit from a retreat and marriage coaching.”
“Every marriage needs work and has difficulties,” said May.
He also recommended the diocese’s Counseling Assistance Program, or CAP, which connects parishioners with counselors across western Kentucky who offer their services at a reduced rate for up to six sessions. Every therapist affiliated with CAP agrees to practice within the teachings of the Catholic Church; more information is available at owensborodiocese.org/counseling.
“If a husband and wife are both doing individual work (such as counseling) and also working together (perhaps with a mentor couple), you can gain a lot of ground that way,” he said.
May said that according to a 1994 study by The Gottman Institute, (available on the institute’s website at gottman.com), the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems.
He said his door is open for anyone seeking these resources or advice on what options to consider; in fact he started assembling this list of resources after receiving multiple calls and emails for assistance.
“I wish every couple or their priest would call me!” he said. “That’s what we’re here for.”
May can be reached by emailing him directly at [email protected] or calling (270) 683-1545 and asking for Danny May. The full list of resources available through the Office of Marriage and Family Life may be access at owensborodiocese.org/office-of-marriage-family-life.
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Originally printed in the August 2025 issue of The Western Kentucky Catholic.
