Matt Knight visits members of his parish youth ministry program attending Gasper River Catholic Youth Camp and Retreat Center on June 26, 2024. COURTESY OF ST. PIUS X PARISH
‘They don’t care what you know till they know that you care’
Why the core of youth ministry is relational ministry
BY MATT KNIGHT, SPECIAL TO THE WESTERN KENTUCKY CATHOLIC
“They don’t care what you know till they know that you care.” This is a saying I heard many years ago and this is the core of what youth ministry looks like here at St. Pius X Parish in Owensboro. At the end of the day, everyone wants to be seen, known, and loved. Think back to your formative years. The person that influenced your life the most, more than likely saw you, got to know who you were, and then through that you felt a sense of belonging and love. I was thankful to have had many people in my high school years that did that for me at Holy Name in Henderson. They knew my name, they got to know me as an individual, and through that I felt loved. I feel that this is the heart of what youth ministry is all about.
Danny May plays kickball at St. Pius X’s middle school youth group gathering on May 15, 2024. COURTESY OF ST. PIUS X PARISH
There can be a lot of pressures wanting you to teach scripture, the history of the church, all the rich amounts of prayers the Church provides, etc. While all of that is still what we are called to do, none of that can stick, if they don’t know that you care. Youth ministry is just a stepping stone on a long faith journey of our youth. One thing that we can do is make sure that our youth know that the Church is a safe place to be themselves and grow into a child of God.
The beauty of relational ministry is that it can be done in so many different ways. It can look like a fist bump on the way into Mass or making funny faces when you make eye contact with a kid. It’s finding out which of your youth are in band, sports, or dance and showing up to their event. If a youth has a job in the community, dine or shop where they work, and simply say hello. But at the end of the day, it is showing them that they truly matter. It’s listening to their stories and getting to know them for who they are.
Drew Hardesty and Michelle Roberts have a meal with their high school youth during the National Catholic Youth Conference in Indianapolis on Nov. 19, 2023. COURTESY OF ST. PIUS X PARISH
When you look at the ministry of Jesus, this is exactly what he did. In the story of the Road to Emmaus, Jesus walked alongside them and listened to them. It wasn’t until after listening to them that he revealed who he was. Ministry can’t just be teaching the faith. It has to start with relationships and getting to know the people you are ministering to. This is why that saying is so important to me. I can have every answer ready for them in regards to faith, but “they don’t care what I know till they know that I care.”
Matt Knight is the youth minister for St. Pius X Parish in Owensboro.
Originally printed in the March 2025 issue of The Western Kentucky Catholic.
